Yesterday was shit.
Let me correct that: yesterday my attitude~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyem> was shit. Don’t ask me why, but it was just one of those days when I didn’t want to be around people and if you looked at me the wrong way you ran the risk getting killed by “the look~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyem>.”
I hate those days. Hate. HATE. HATE~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneystrong>~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyem>. And there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. If someone had tried to be all Mary Sunshine and tell me to look on the bright side of things, I think I would have shoved that sunshine somewhere on their person.
So on days like those, I try to just shut out everyone in the world and focus on my little crappy space and hope that the day comes to an end quickly and that no one gets hurt.
My foul mood came to a quick halt when I arrive home and opened the front door to a *plop* from a little brown package from Amazon.com.
WOOT! It arrived!! I’ve been waiting a billion years for this to come (OK, a month or so, but it seemed much longer~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyem>) and it showed up at just the right moment.
Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneya>, is one of the funniest, frankest, craziest women to rule the blogesphere. The best part about her? She’s 100% real. From taxidermied alligators to her love affair with Will Wheaton, she’ll keep you coming back everyday for more.
When I opened the book, I didn’t need to go any farther than the “thank you” page to know that this book was going to make my telleveryonetoorderthisbookbecauseitsdabomb list:
“I want to thank everyone who helped me create this book,~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyem>~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyp>
except for that guy who yelled at me in Kmart when I was eight~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyem>~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyp>
because he thought I was being “too rowdy.”~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyem>~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyp>
You’re an asshole, sir.”~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyem>~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyp>
Everyone~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyem> should be as honest as that!
Thanks for coming through when I needed you most, Jenny. Your book made me laugh out loud* (which brought strange looks from the cats~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyem>) and made my shitty attitude melt away.
I wish I had some taxidermied frogs to send you as a thank you gift, but my daughter kinda freaked out when I told her what they were and when I found them many years later they were kinda gross.
*Seriously, the chapter “Stanley, the Magical Talking Squirrel”~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooney~sandyrooneyem> had me laughing so hard that tears were running down my cheeks!