I Would Like to Thank The Academy

Mar 182012
 

Sometimes the biggest type of flattery is for someone to say that they like you.  I’ve only been at this blogging game for 15 months now, and I know that I’m not the best in the biz (boy, do I ever!).

I mean, I don’t write about my kids crazy antics (they do enough weird shit as adults that I don’t think they’d like the whole world to know about), or do giveaways (although that is something I’ve toyed with), or book reviews.

I don’t really belong to any “niche” that I can find.  I write about me (boring!) and throw in a little splash of humor because I have to laugh at what life throws at me.  And sometimes I don’t even know why I do this schtick?

On second thought, yes I do.  Because many years ago my husband gave me the bestest Mother’s Day present ever:  my own domain name.  But this was back in the dinosaur age of the internet and “Blogs” were just for the elite who could pay for the type of software it took to start one.  So my present sat in the closet and occasionally came out once in a while to be tested on newfangled software that popped up.

On January 1, 2011, I decided to resurrect the darn thing and use it for something besides my email (I must have been really bored!).  But I didn’t really think that anyone would take a gander at it besides family so I decided to just be me and post stuff about our life in the Northwoods.  Easy cheesy.

Over the last 6 months or so (which would be Winter in our neck of the woods which means down time and boredom) I’ve picked up my pace with networking the blog to try and gain more readers and see if anyone else gave a crap about anything that I wrote.  And it finally seems to be working.  People are actually coming here and reading what I have to say!  I’m SHOCKED!!  I mean, I’m not a writer, I’m just a nobody putting my life out there for others to laugh at.  Certainly, that is not something people are going to come back day after day and look at.

A month ago I used (notmyfriend) Google and typed in “Minnesota Bloggers” because, well, I’m originally from Minnesota and I wanted to know if there were other local people that I could connect with that were in the blogging biz.  I came across one in particular that caught my eye and I have been reading her ever since.

Sarah at So… what else? is one amazing person.  This woman has roped me in as a faithful reader.  Family?  Humor?  Real life?  Career? She takes them all and wraps them up in a nice little package with a bow on top.  I knew right away I was going to love this woman because a) she was from Minnesota, and b) she made me laugh.

When I went to her site the other day after work, I was scrolling along the postings and glanced at the sidebar where her Best Blogs Ever are listed and…. WHOA!  There I Was!  My hand went to my mouth and I gasped with surprise.  This was a first for me, people.  No one has ever put my blog in such a place of glory before.  I felt like I had just won an Oscar.

This woman has been in the blogging world for quite some time and for her to place little old me on her site brought rainbows and unicorns to my world.  Thank you Sarah, your kindness has given me a little more fuel to stay in the online world a little longer.

I will try to keep the squirrel complaints to a minimum.

 

Playing Tag

Mar 152012
 

Sandi over at The Mrs has challenged her wonderful readers to join in a game of “Tag”, otherwise known as 11 fun filled facts about yourself in a blog post.

So I thought to myself, “Self, you already blog about every damn thing that happens in your life, what’s left to tell?”

Hrms… let’s see…

:::

Eleven things about me you may or may not care about:

ONE  I hoard pine scented candles (love the scent…mmmmmmm).  OK, maybe “hoard” is too strong of a word.  I stock up on pine scented candles at Christmas time because that is the only time I can find them.  And my daughter Chris helps feed the stockpile (thankies honey!).

TWO  I don’t shave my legs in the winter.  I’m a small-ish person and I need all the insulation I can get during the cold months.   Don’t judge.

THREE  When I’m home, I spend most of the time in the bedroom.  That’s where my computer is, and Rick set up a large screen TV so I’m all set!

(Still with me?)

FOUR  I hate when things are disorganized.  If something is out of place or slightly askew, it drives me nuts and I have to fix it immediately.  (This might fall under the “OCD” problem that you already know about.)

FIVE  I love feathers.  I’ll pick them up whenever I see them and hang them in the Dreamcatchers around the house.  Double points of love if someone gives me one.

SIX  I must be on time for everything.  If I’m even a minute late, my whole world is thrown out of whack and I get all weird.  It’s all my Dad’s fault.  He was never on time for anything when I was growing up, and he’ll be late for his own funeral (he’s even admitted that one).

SEVEN  I can read people’s eyes.  I can tell their mood, if they are not feeling well or if they are lying just by looking at their eyes.  Yes, I’m a freak.

(Hello? Anybody there?)

EIGHT  I played the flute in band when I was younger.  It still sits on the shelf in my closet.  I think it’s considered an antique now.

NINE  I do not have a Pinterest account.  I don’t know what I would do if I had one.  If someone wants to “invite” me and gush about all the neato things to do with it, I’d give it a shot.  Maybe.

TEN  Unlike 137 percent of the world, I am not addicted to Twitter.  It’s fun to look at and occasionally post to (if I have something brilliant to say, which I normally don’t), but I can easily go without it for a day and not go through withdrawals.

ELEVEN  I am not an outgoing person.  I would rather stay in the safe confines of my homestead and do nothing but soak in the nature around me than to be a social butterfly.  That way nobody witnesses what a total moron I really am.

:::

You still here?  WOW!

Well, I really had to navigate through some burnt out brain cells to come up with this stuff, but it’s all true.  Now you know more about me than I cared to ever reveal to anyone but the cats, so feel free to consider yourselves either a) fortunate or b) slightly nauseous.

Either way, you’re heros in my eyes and I hope that you still like me despite what you just read.

If not, well then you now have more than enough material for your next therapy session.

 

The End of an Era for TTFH

Mar 122012
 

For the past 2 weeks, I’ve been in constant pain.  Not a poke-a-stick-in-my-eye pain, but one that makes itself known every waking minute of the day with just enough punch to let you know that it is there.

I just couldn’t take it anymore, and I finally called the dentist.  I knew what the problem was because this tooth (from this moment forward to be known as The Tooth From Hell, or TTFH), because it’s caused me problems for over 37 years.

Yes, 37 years.  The first time that TTFH make it’s debut it was when it cracked in half when it was still one of my baby teeth.  On a Saturday, no less (don’t ask me how I remember this, but I do).  When TTFH re-emerged as an adult, it was back with a vengeance.  It has made me endure countless cavities and fillings, oral surgery that involved cutting half my mouth open to scrap off infected jaw bone (gross I know… wasn’t a picnic for me either), 2 failed root canals and a POS crown that I swear was nothing more than reinforced rubber cemented to TTFH that has miraculously lasted 16 years (how, I’ll never know).

When I met the Prince of All Dentists 2 years ago, I pointed out TTFH and he was in agreement with me that it was a vile piece of work and needed to be extracted.  But we needed to get rid of the other nasty teeth that resided in the top part of my mouth first and then we would revisit the little parasite after everything else was healed.

Well, everything has been healed for quite some time now and TTFH decided it was a great time to introduce a lovely infection that has taken up residence in the right side of my mouth, making eating anything resembling food a new experience in pain.

The Prince was able to see me on short notice and said “Let’s yank that sucker out of there!”  (Well, he didn’t exactly use those words, I did… he said that he’ll gently rock it out.  Either way, it’s history.)  But first we need to get rid of the nasty infection, so here I go on another round of antibiotics that will make me want to hurl at the smell of food.  Yay me!

But that’s OK, because in 10 days I get to say buh bye to TTFH and end it’s evil infection spreading tirade that has lorded over my mouth all these years.  And when the crater hole from where it has been extracted is healed, I’m having a big juicy slab of prime rib to celebrate.

And this time, I’ll be able to enjoy it pain free.  Victory over TTFH is going to taste sooooo good.

 

You’ve Been Naughty Google. Now Go Stand in a Corner.

Mar 042012
 

Dear Google,

I noticed a little “problem” with one of my widgets on my website today.  Specifically the Google Friend Connect that I have been using to promote my site, as many of my fellow bloggers do.  The problem?  Well, it was a big, empty space where all my followers’ bright, shiny faces were supposed to show up… and didn’t.

I didn’t think of it as a big deal as I’ve been having some issues with this widget for a few months now and usually I just go and grab a new code and badda bing badda boom it corrects itself.

Not so this time.  So I dug a little deeper to find out what that problem was.

This is what you had to say:

“Google Friend Connect—Friend Connect allows webmasters to add social features to their sites by embedding a few snippets of code. We’re retiring the service for all non-Blogger sites on March 1, 2012. We encourage affected sites to create a Google+ page and place a Google+ badge on their site so they can bring their community of followers to Google+ and use new features like Circles and Hangouts to keep in touch.”

Well, Google, it appears that you have me by the short hairs because I don’t have a Blogger account so you are shutting off my ability to use your code for your Google Friend Connect on my site.

You want me to have a Google+ account in order to use your service for people that want to connect to my site.  Why do you want me to put people in “circles” according to how I associate with them?  Are we in High School and choosing “clicks”?  Please, been there, done that and HATED IT!

The program I use is just as fancy schmancy as Blogger, it just doesn’t force it’s patrons to conform to petty little locker room antics like you too.

Now before you start getting into my face about how I’m being prejudice, let me just make myself clear Google.  I have many blogs that I read (including the one my daughter writes) who use your Blogger software, and I enjoy them as much as the sun coming up in the morning.  I don’t judge what others choose use for their sites, unlike you Google.  I like them, follow them and subscribe to them because I enjoy reading them.  They are my buds… my friends.

Your “Circles” and “Hangouts”, as you call them, are nothing more than pitting one against the other according to who people are.  Why do you chose to divide people based on what they write about?

Pull your perceived corporate domination out of your arse, Google.  You used to be such a nice, simple search engine.  People liked that about you.  I understand that you need to make money just like any other company in the world and expanding the applications that you offer is a great way to do it.  But to pull a simple widget from bloggers like me is not playing nice.

Shame on you Google.  Go stand in the corner and think about what you have done and don’t come out until you’re ready to apologize.

Sincerely,

One very disappointed blogger

I Suck at Quizzes

Mar 022012
 

Yesterday I went to work only to discovered that we were closed.  Apparently reports were coming in from people that still weren’t plowed out (we were lucky) or that roads were just plain crappy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I loved having another day off because of the weather, I only wish that it had been announced before I ventured out.  Come to find out when I got home that it had been.  (It probably would have been a good idea for me to check my work email before I left too and I would have seen the notice.  Oh well.)

So what to do with my new found day off?  Well, I had a little problem that had been bothering me for the past 4 days, and it was time that I got it checked out.

The young Nurse who called my name and escorted me back to the Doctor’s office was a familiar face.  She is in the Nursing program at the college so I kinda knew who she was, which eased my nerves a little.

OK, here’s a shocker for ya:  I don’t like Doctors.  Of any kind.  My blood pressure starts to go through the roof when I even think about having to see one.  So a kind, familiar face was a big plus.

Anywho, we’re back in the little room and she’s tap tap tapping on her computer and looking at my history when the inevitable “quiz” phase of the appointment begins.  You know the one, where they ask you all those questions that they already have the answers to but need to find out if you have retained any of your memory cells.  And everybody who knows me knows that my memory sucks.  Big time.

So normal questions of age, smoking, yadda yadda yadda.  Then she hits me with it:  “And the medications that you’re taking?”  The first 2 come flying out of my mouth and then… GAH!  I always have trouble with that 3rd one because it sounds like some kind of biology lab ingredient.

What happened next just about floored me.  She started sounding out the name of the stuff, prompting me to complete the rest of it (which I did, followed by a quick snap of my fingers in victory).  I felt like I was transported back to elementary school and my first grade teacher was helping me sound out the word “flower.”

Now someone please explain to me why she was asking me to tell her what my meds were when she had them on the screen right in front of her?  I may be getting up there in years, but in no way have I reached the age where I’ve lost all my marbles.

A short time after she leaves with all my information, the Doctor walks into the room with a smile on his face and congratulates me on being the proud owner of a bladder infection (which I already new that I had).

Antibiotics issued with instructions to take care of myself, and I’m out the door.

So for the next 5 days I’ll be taking horse pills to kick this thing in the butt and hopefully be back up to normal function.

The rest of my day off?  Relaxed with a good book on my Kindle in a comfy chair in front of the fire.

Just following Doctor’s orders.

 

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