The Great Escape

Jul 112011
 

This weekend I did nothing but read.

No, that’s not exactly the truth.  I still did my normal chores, plus a few more, but I also took time to go outside and relax with a good book… or 2… on my Kindle.  I pulled this same shenanigan last Saturday, and at the time I felt pretty guilty about it.  I mean, I should have been doing LOTS of stuff that I’m sure there was to do if I had really thought about it, but I didn’t think about them hard enough to bring them to my mind.

I think my mind just needed a mini vacation… escaping into another time and place while still being in my own front yard.

If I do that, I won’t whine and cry about how my mind is mush from everything going on at work.  Maybe this will recharge my creativity level so that I can tackle some of the brain-teasers that fly at me from my coworkers.  Perhaps this will stop me from thinking about what is in store the next week when there won’t be enough time to complete everything in an 8 hour work day.

Yeah, that sounds good.

OK, the guilt is gone.

A Man’s List

Jul 102011
 

Even though my husband is a computer geek, deep down he will always be a carpenter.

He spent many years building homes for the rich in suburbia and remodeling who-knows-what for who-knows-who.  No job was off-limits:  funeral homes, churches, medical clinics, office buildings – he could do it all.

And he loves the toys that come along with it:  skill saws, radial arm saws, drills, nail guns – he has them all, plus a whole gamut of other hand tools that line the garage from end-to-end, and overflow into the attic.

He also doesn’t like to let anything go to waste:  nails, screws, wood scraps – he saves them all with the knowledge that they will someday come in handy, and he’s usually right.

Take, for example, his latest “shopping trip” to the local lumber/hardware store.  As with any shopping that he does, he likes to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible, and in order to do that there needs to be a list of things he needs.

And like any good carpenter, you use the materials that are available to you when making such a list.

This piece of wood that was left over from our kitchen ceiling remodel fit the bill just perfectly!

No self-respecting carpenter would be caught dead entering a manly hardware store with a sissy piece of paper.

I’m just glad he didn’t specialize in cement.

That list would have been a bitch to carve out.

Hellooooo Mr. Obvious

Jul 092011
 

Friday after work has now become my Monday in terms of grocery shopping.  At least for the next 4 months, when I get to have my Monday’s off again.

So, as I’m going through the grocery store, sticking to my list (mostly), I get to the aisle where I purchase the jar of peanuts I’m looking for because they are high in protein and I need to have little snacks with me all the time.

Choosing from the large assortment of 2 manufacturers that my store has to offer a little voice goes off in my head saying “You know those little food allergy cautions that they put on foods?  You should really check the label and see if they put one on your jar”.

So I told my little voice “Come on now, you can’t be serious?  If someone is allergic to peanuts, why would it be necessary to put a statement on the label that pointed that out?”

Plus, it’s glass jar, exposing it’s contents clearly.

Really, are companies that paranoid of a lawsuit that they couldn’t got before a judge and say “Your Honor, I realize that the product that we manufacture is peanuts, and this product is in a clear container so that you can see exactly what you are buying, so why would we take up valuable space on our label by pointing out the obvious?  AND, we stated on the label that they were PEANUTS, in nice, big beautiful letters, so we would hope that we took all necessary precautions to alert our customers of what they were purchasing”.

Then again, it took a lawsuit from a woman to make fast food restaurants put a warning on their coffee cups that said that the contents were hot.

I couldn’t resist.  I had to look.

Yes, it was there.

*sigh*

 

Life’s Little Questions

Jul 062011
 

Life has it’s little conundrums, and every once in a while, silly little things pop into my head, and I just have to let them out.

Like…

When you buy a roll of stamps, why are they put on the roll upside-down? Was this decided by some left-handed person that said enough was enough when it came to the southpaw community being left out of the modern conveniences of life?

Why did Google go and add that stupid black bar across the top of their home page? I have no theory on this one people.

Why am I still receiving spam emails for Viagra? Wasn’t that like so-1990’s?  Are they actually making money off of these emails?  Do they expect some person has been living under a rock for the last 12 years and seeing this email and going “OMG!  What a breakthrough!  I’ve got to have that!”

Why do my bangs grow faster than the rest of my hair? Seriously, I get 2 inches cut off my hair twice a year, but I need to trim an inch off my bangs every month.  WTF??

Why are we still f#&%ing around with daylight savings time? I mean, do we really need to change our clocks back and forth an hour twice a year as a reminder to change the battery in the smoke detector?  Come on, government official person, throw it on the next president election ballot and I can almost guarantee you will see record numbers of people coming out to vote.  It’s a win-win situation!

And finally, the question that has been plaguing man for centuries:

Why are there 12 hot dog buns and 10 hot dogs?* Do the math, people.  You would have to purchase 6 packages of hot dogs and 5 packages of buns just to come out even.  I think it’s some kind of conspiracy.  But I have no idea by who… yet.

Sometimes you just have to get these things off your chest.

Thank you for listening.

I feel much better now.

*UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that I made an error in the bun counting department (Thanks Nichole!).  There are 8 buns to a package, which brings the amount of hot dogs down to 4 packages to come out even.  Sorry to anyone who had to do a double-take at their dogs-to-buns ratio.  I promise to wear my glasses next time I count.

I still say there is a conspiracy.

 Older Entries  Newer Entries